Love Bond

Love glam.

Love pink.

Love international.

Love The Atlantic.

Hate Love early Sunday mornings.

Oh yeah.

Sunday mornings are for getting up really early and being gone allllll day.

Me <----Tired.

I'm currently watching Casino Royale. I think Daniel Craig is the best James Bond. Sean Connery was pretty good. He was more dashing for sure. A true gentleman. Roger Moore was cheesy. Normally, I don't mind cheesy but not on James Bond. Don't even get me started on Pierce Brosnan.

Meh.

Daniel Craig is definitely more brooding.

He is more Batman than Superman, if you will.

Okay fine, Daniel Craig is the hottest.

There I said it.

Happy?

Hope you had a relaxing Sunday, friends.

3 Things

{I Like French Toast}

I still like pancakes.

Once in awhile, a girl just needs a little variety, ya know?

{Shoes and Skins}

The guy from Twilight texted his emotionally tortured girlfriend and asked her to ask me for his pasty skin back. I'm not sure what is hotter... my wearing flats with running shorts to the store or my very pale legs...

(Actually, I think the big shaving scar on my leg is the sexiest)

Okay, now these shoes look better with running shorts.

I'm not giving the Twilight dude his pale skin back.

It's mine!

{It's Always Sunny in Ca}

It was beautiful this afternoon.

Not a cloud in the sky.

I took full advantage of the nice weather and spent most of the day outdoors. I ran some errands and then caught up with a friend. Weird thing...she kept asking me if there was something going on with me*. I seemed a bit off to her. I was not my sunny self.

Am I a sunny person?

My boss calls me "sunshine" a lot. She says whenever I'm on vacation, the office is quiet. Well, that doesn't mean I'm cheery and bright. It means I'm loud!

Wait a minute...

*I've had a long week. Personally and professionally.

Just Right, Too Much, Not Enough

My week:

---> In men-don't-care-news, I replaced my favorite sunglasses. My old ones broke and my new ones look like my old ones. I like my new ones.

Still with me?

Pardon my messy hair.

Every morning, my hair gets stuck in the 80s while it air dries.

(Cue your favorite 80s song)

---> Last night, I ran into my friend (the one with the crazy girlfriend) at the grocery store. It was so nice seeing him. We talk and text regularly but we haven't been able to hang out that much lately. I think everyone knows why. Hmm, I think his girlfriend knows why. Anyways, my friend and I were chatting when all of a sudden two guys come from around the corner. It took me a second but I realized one of the guys was BBQ Guy. We made eye contact, he smiled and looked pleasantly surprised to see me.

BBQ Guy: "Hey, what are you doing here?"

(Our Friend: "What do you think she's doing here?")

Me: "Oh, you know...doing stuff."

(Our friend: "Stuff like buying groceries?")

Me: "Uh, no."

First, I want to announce that my friend is leaving his job as a firefighter to pursue a career as a commentator. Second thing, why was my response to grocery shopping all defensive? Like, I can't believe my friend said that! Buy groceries. Only sluts buy groceries.

I don't buy groceries.

Noooo, not me.

---> One day for lunch, I bought a carne asada burrito and after taking a big bite, I realized the burrito had bits of raw onion in it. Oh no! Not just a little but a whole lot of onion. I don't mind the taste of onions but they make me super gassy and my breath stinky. If I was at home, I wouldn't really care. However, I was at work and I didn't want my breath to smell like onions. The burping and farting at my desk wasn't something I was looking forward to either. So, to save my boss from my gas and breath, I tried to picked out every single piece of onion.

It took for-eva...

I didn't get all of it.

Uhhhh.

---> Earlier in the week, a female friend and I had a brief conversation about men. We talked about how they sometimes change their minds. To be clear, we were talking about the early stage of interest here. Maybe even just sex. Definitely not "you have been exclusively dating him for an entire month and he changed his mind..." Oh, no, no. That's something different.

We were referring to men who tell you they are attracted to you but then pull back. They flirt with you one minute and then the next minute they don't even talk to you. It makes a woman wonder. Maybe this or maybe that.

Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

I think many of us women over-analyze the behavior and it accomplishes nothing. I believe we already know the answer. Most of us just don't want to say it.

Um, I'll say it.

Plain and simple, the man doesn't want you (me, her) anymore.

He lost interest. He's not as into you as he thought he was. At first, he was attracted to you but soon realized...not enough...not enough to get into your pants...and definitely not enough to be anything more than just friends. He doesn't like you...anymore.

Whoa, I just read what I wrote.

Ouch.

Oh well, wouldn't you rather swallow the truth once than to continue feeding yourself a big plate of lies (assumptions and/or denial)? Or, is that just me?

=================================================

Okay, I have to get back to work.

I'll see you later.

Happy Friday!

In January

{Keeping It Real}

This is for my new young female readers.

There are things we don't like about ourselves. We totally freak out when we look "fat" ("weird" or "ugly") in photos. We want to always look our best because god forbid someone sees us any other way.

We are our own worst critic.

We want men to think of us as the hottest woman in the room. We compare ourselves to models and actresses. We want to look like them. We want perfect skin and a perfect body.

I'll be the first one to say it...

These goals are unattainable.

I have oily shiny skin. I get zits and put zit cream on them (see photo above). I have a little bit of discoloration on my cheeks. I look like I over pluck my eyebrows when really I just have really light eyebrow hair at the ends. I may be the most awkward but I'm definitely not the hottest woman in the room, the world, the universe.

Like you (and models and actresses), I'm just a real woman.

Let's embrace it.

On that note...

{Strong}

I don't know how many times I've seen this ad this month.

As an athletically built woman, I like it when magazines run ads with athletic women. I think young women need to see more models who have muscles.

It's not size zero. It's size strong and healthy.

{Far Away}

I will learn to park a car properly.

Get this---I even pulled forward, backed up and straightened myself out.

Awesome.

{Sunsets}

During the week my uncle passed away, I spent a few weeknights driving back and forth to my parents house. I always noticed the sunsets.

Lovely, lovely.

{Gym Bag}

I don't bring my camera to the gym.

So, why do I bring a camera cable?

{Knitted}

A very sweet and wonderful person knitted me this scarf.

I wear it out and about...and when I'm home...eating, reading and sleeping.

It's very warm.

{Pancake Lady at 99 Ranch}

She makes these delicious mini pancakes and puts a filling between them. You can either have red bean or custard. She's very curt.

Next! How many you order?

I like her.

{Good Friends}

I like it when people make funny faces in pictures.

In this one, my dear friend is showing off the ghetto fabulous bag she got for Christmas.

I think her sister may have purchased it from the back of a van.

{Monks}

They have very soothing voices.

Whenever I speak to one, they listen patiently and never interrupt. They don't do small talk. No filler conversations.

This is not a bad thing.

Private(s)

asian chicks are whoes with flat ass faces and no tits

Did you mean to call Asian women "whores" or "hoes"?

Asian girls have small vaginas.

Do we? I can't speak for other Asian women...

I hate hate hate hateeeeeeeee it when guys want you to send a pic of yourself masturbating. How I do that exactly?

Oh my goodness, I don't know*. I would imagine you have to hold the camera phone up pretty high. Unless you stand when you pleasure yourself. But see, I have tried to take photos of myself (fully clothed and not for sex reasons) standing up, and I'm only able to get my legs and shoes. You know what, just take a solo vagina photo. I think the guy will be fine with that.

Why do I suddenly have this feeling your question was rhetorical?

Kim, I'm sorry to break it to you but men do not respect women who send them disgusting and vulgar messages. The man will have sex with you and move on to the next woman. Respect yourself.

Look, I'm not the biggest fan of text messaging.

I'd rather say what I have to say (dirty or not) in person or over the phone. But, sometimes, I'm in a situation that doesn't allow me to do either one of those things. The same with the other person. We're at work, school, in a noisy social setting, in a car with someone, with parents, whatever. I think sending sexual text messages to a man you're dating (or just fucking) does not mean you have zero self-respect. Also, a person's respect for you has nothing to do with you verbally expressing your desire to have sex with them. If that was the case, hardly anyone would respect each other!

Saying raunchy things over text messages is about having fun.

That's it.

hey kim,  im curious. do you shave your shit?

No, my shit comes out clean and hairless.

You are talking about my vagina, aren't you?

================================================

*As long time readers and friends know, I do not attach pictures of my vagina and/or breasts to text messages. So not my thing. I've witnessed male friends share photos with other male friends. If they catch me catching them in the act, they tell me not to say anything to their significant others about it. Uh, no bueno.

Sex-t It Up

My weekend:

---> My friend and I were hanging out when she received a text message from a man she just started dating. Since we were not talking about anything serious, I didn't mind. She sends a handful of texts. Then, at one point, she received a text, put her phone down and told me she didn't know how to reply. What do I say, Kim? Oh my goodness. I told her she's a big girl. She knows. No, look, Kim. I looked at her man friend's text. It was pretty naughty. Holla. My friend was genuinely stumped (she's kinda shy). Okay so, I don't condone doing this...but I told her what to write back. Oh my god, I can't write that! I told her she didn't have to, if she didn't want to. She asked me to write it. What, really? Fine. Reluctantly, I spent the next twenty minutes sending raunchy texts to her man friend on her behalf. She saw every text and kept shaking her head the whole time...blushing. Bitch, you want to get laid or what?? I wrapped things up and told her she was meeting up with him in a half an hour. You're welcome.

(I have no clue what my friend is going to do next time. Her man is going to get "Yes, close hugs are nice..." when he's expecting "After you cum on my tits, I'm gonna suck your XXXX...")

---> On Friday afternoon, as I paid for my items at the store, the cashier told me when I walked in, I looked like a woman who knew what she wanted. Well, um, I needed face cream and I've been to this CVS Pharmacy like a hundred times. I knew where to go. He laughed and said he meant he liked my style. I wear confidence well. Then, he asked where I got my chambray shirt and leather boots. I also wear those items well.

Mmmkay... in my personal experience, if a straight guy likes how you look, he says "You look good" or he checks out your chest and/or ass when he thinks you aren't paying attention. The cashier was more specific...

Gay, right?

---> My baby sister posted a link on our other sister's Facebook page and it looked funny. It was a You Tube video about shit Asian dads say. I watched the video and then saw another video about shit Asian girls say. I clicked on that video. Um, why did it take me to a page with random videos of scantily clad Asian girls shoving their asses in the camera's face!?

Where's the other video?

I probably clicked on another link to get...nevermind.

(Only me...only me)

---> Okay so, I wanted to post an entry yesterday but I was busy alllll day. I spent Lunar New Year's Eve with my family. Of course, lots of food and lots of laughs. We spent the majority of the evening eating and talking. We also celebrated my sister's birthday. Good, good times.

Happy New Year.

I hope your year is full of love, good health and happiness.

3 Things

{Comfort Food}

Today is a hot beef noodle soup kind of day.

This pho.

Not this pho.

No, no, no.

{It's Just Paper}

To prevent paper tears, Paper Source wraps your paper in paper and slaps a sticker on there. Tell me...I'm not the only one who spends $4.00 on a 11x14 sheet of paper to wrap a gift...right?

Okay, fine.

Sometimes, I'm boo-zhee.

{Caught Up}

If you have been reading, you know during the holidays, I really wanted to catch up on a few back issues of The Economist. Work, life...blah, blah, blah...got busy. Didn't get around to reading.

Well, today, I'm happy to announce, I'm all caught up.

It only took a month.

Decent article.

Different topic but this one was better.

I know it doesn't sound like an incredibly exciting afternoon but I'm enjoying my Saturday so far. It finally rained here in So Cal. Thannnk goddd. I'm used to winter days feeling like dry summer days but it doesn't mean I like it.

I want real seasons!

Okay, I better wrap this up. I'm meeting a friend for greasy burgers, fries and gossip tonight. I think we are also watching the second installment of Sherlock Holmes. I heard it wasn't as good as the first one.

We will see...

Until tomorrow!

Pancake Awkward Kim

This was an awkward week...

---> A word of advice: Don't ever make a joke about hard nipples to women in their late 50s, especially if they are your co-workers. It does not go over well. Insert awkward silence and me trying to explain the joke to them. The joke wasn't even dirty!

---> Okay, so you know how some gyms play music over their sound system? Well, earlier this week, as I was chit-chatting with Tattoo Guy, INXS started playing. ♫All you got is this moment. The 21st Century's yesterday...♫ I told Tattoo Guy the song made me want to do the running man. He smiled and asked, "The running man?" Whoa, whoa, whoa. He doesn't know the running man?!

I performed the move for him.

He laughed.

"Kim, I know what the running man is..."

Oh.

I see. 

---> At work, I was in the women's bathroom and someone came in just as I was finishing up. Of course, since I was in a stall, I didn't see who it was. As I washed and dried my hands, the person in the stall let out a barely audible fart. Okay, whatever. No big deal. I mean, it is a bathroom. As I started to walk out, the person let out another fart.

BOOM!

Oh my god, it sounded like she blew out her freakin' ass hole!

Me: "Holy shit!! What the hell was that!?"

Like I don't know.

*Dead silence*

Me: "Okay well...have a good day..."

Tell me, how does one recover from that?

---> A couple days ago, I got home late from being awesome and decided it was a good idea to stay up even later. I started looking through a bunch of photos in my Picasa web albums and couldn't stop.

Quick translation: I couldn't sleep. So, I organized.

Man, I've uploaded a lot of pics! Most of the albums had pictures from Pancake Kim. Here are some of my favorites:

Remember how I took Zumba and all the jostling gave me diarrhea?

It takes four Vietnamese women to figure out a picture.

Visiting my grandmother's grave in Vietnam.

Trying to snap a photo while on a motorbike with my cousin.

Some point in the last two years, I ate pancakes the size of my head.

Ahhhhh....

Pffffttttttt....

Ahhhhhh...

You can't see him but my nephew is in this picture.

Oh look, months later, someone is no longer camera-shy.

Whoa, long hair.

A picture with my beloved.

Cupcake and I have been together for two years.

He's really sweet.

(Admit it...you just smiled)

Hmm, let's see...I didn't stop my friend from using my camera and she didn't stop me from posting a terrible photo. Please excuse my sweaty face.

A family that hikes together stays together.

Not too bad for 5:00 am at the airport.

Peace?

Seriously, don't trust her.

I have no clue.

Happy Friday!